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5.09.2011

Bates Seat...

Just has a ring to it.
This off course is not a Bates seat but is, in fact a Haifley Brothers Bates style solo seat.
.
.
Well it's time to do a little spring cleaning around the Haifley Brothers camp.
We appreciate all of our great customers and all the folks that follow us here in the world of the interwebs
and we wanted to say thanks.
What you see here is our very LAST 1" Bates style pleated leather solo seat with a nickel pan.
Yes, ever since we started to offer our comfy cushions with chrome pans the call for nickel has dropped.
So we decided what better way to find this little guy a home than to GIVE it away to one of you lovely people.

Here's the Deal
To enter is simple, to win is ridiculously simple.
Starting at Midnight tonight, May 9th until Midnight Monday May 30th (Memorial Day)
Just leave us a comment on this post.
That's it...


Now to keep things entertaining and fun for everyone let's say the comments can be a poem,
a joke, a haiku, favorite phrase, or anecdote etc...

On Tuesday May 31st we will write down the Name of each person that left a comment on equally sized bits of paper, put them in a hat or bucket and draw the winner. 
That simple. 

We will then post a video of the winner being drawn, announce the name and wait for an email from the winner. If the seat is not claimed by Thursday June 2nd we will draw again.

There ya have it, tell your friends, spread the word.
This baby is FREE! And it could be yours.
.
One entry per person please...


Good Luck Everybody!

260 comments:

  1. Teacher asks girl, "What comes after 69?"
    Girl replies, "You rinse out your mouth and wash off your face!"

    Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant?

    Because the teacher told her to go do an "essay



    A state trooper pulls over a blonde on a lonely back road and says, "Ma'am, is there a reason why you're weaving all over the road?"

    The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. So, I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. Then, I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

    The officer reached through the side window to the rear view mirror, and explained, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."

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  2. i dont have a jokes right now but a free seat would be realy nice

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  3. Throw my name in the hat!!!

    Here's a link to my girl Gisele's red beans and rice recipe...

    http://www.painperdublog.com/2010/09/five-years-after-katrina-hungry-town-and-red-beans-and-rice.html#more

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  4. I like nickel better than crome!

    "Some people come here to sit and think.
    Some people come here to shit and stink.
    Some people come here to play with there balls.
    I just came here to write on the walls."

    **Johan

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  5. Does this seat help prevent hemorrhoid flare up? I hope so. My ass hurts.

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. ooooooh i want it!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKEgrnOOHso

    hello from switzerland

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  8. gimme gimme gimme the seat. that would be neat neat neat. please. pretty please.

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  9. "What's the difference between jelly and jam?"
    I told her
    "I can't jelly my cock down your throat!"

    zing.

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  10. and then he was like "hey i thouhgt i told you"

    and then i was like "yeah whateva"

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. some motorcycles have big seats,
    some motorcycles have small,
    some people have none,
    some want them all!
    but, I only want this one,
    so my name I hope you draw!

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  13. Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.

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  14. never try to kill yourself with duct tape! you end up lookin like violet borigaurd from willy wonka!

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  15. I asked Suzie to use handsome in a sentence. She responded with "if I'm going down on Timmy for too long and my jaw gets tired I have to stop and use my handsome "

    Thanks!

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  16. ah crap, I left my comment before midnight!

    why don't chickens wear pants? because their peckers are on their heads!

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  17. The Black Bra
    I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been
    married for 20 years.
    We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
    Here's how it all went....
    My engaged friend:
    The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
    The Mistress:
    Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a Raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, But he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
    Then I had to share my story:
    When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said....

    "What's for Dinner, Batman?"

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  18. That would be a great seat to have. Thanks

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  19. I held one of those in my hands and miss it, that's why I need to win!

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  20. Diggin all the comments everyone. Keep 'em coming!

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  21. With dope theres hope! if no one else wants it, i'll take the dam seat.

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  22. Hey Doug and Kelly!
    Guess Who I am?
    I am a fuckin' Japanese.
    Still survive man.

    We have been difficult time since the fuckin' crazy earthquake and tusnami. Now we are faced nuclear power plant problem...

    But keep ride as long as I am alive in this world.

    Alive and Kickin'
    Tosh

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  23. What's the difference between a priest and a zit?

    A zit waits until you're 12 to come on your face.

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  24. A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

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  25. I dig what you guys do. Keep at it.

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  26. Why do the ladies love Jesus?
    Cuz he was hung like this. *hold arms out*

    I'm going to hell for that one...hopefully the seat will make it a nicer ride.

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  27. i'm comment 31
    i might be slow
    but i'm not dumb
    i said, dumb i ain't
    winning this seat wouldn't be great news for my taint

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  28. So Jack gets sent to jail for his first time. He doesn't know what to expect, but of course, he gets bunked with the biggest, sweatiest guy in the cell block. My names Bubba, says the big guy, and I'll give you a choice. You can be the husband or the wife so take your pick. Amazed at his luck Jack says confidently, "Well then, I'll be the husband"
    Smiling with his big toothless grin Bubba says "Ok, now that its settled why don't you get over here and suck your wifes dick!"

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  29. If you pick my name here is exactly what I would like done..

    First, throw a big BBQ party
    Second, put the seat on the ground outside behind a bush.
    Third, tell everyone to Pee on it all day.
    Forth, leave the seat in the sun and weather for at least a month or two.
    Fifth, take some sand paper and fuck it up some more.
    Six, find some young hipster looking dude, sleeve tatts etc. photograph him with the seat, a Sinner is perfect.
    Finally, put the seat on ebay market only to Japan and ask 4k for it. Send all proceeds to flood relief in Mississippi.

    word

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  30. Flail against the specter of mediocrity

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  31. I've never been into sticks and stones,
    I live fast to break some bones

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  32. Thanks for bringing back the old quality and American made pride. Keep up the awesome work!

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  33. I want that seat!

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  34. Black Testicles

    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure

    A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

    Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my testicles black?'

    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body.'

    He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles black?'

    Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently.

    Then, she takes a close look and says, 'No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them, Sir !!'

    The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.....
    'A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s -b a c k ?

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  35. If you pull my name can I have the white fur with the seat. I bet it would feel real nice...uhh, nevermind, if I don't win, will you please let Cro win because his idea kicks as much ass your seats do.

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  36. I like beer I like beer a lot
    so show me what you got!

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  37. There's an ass for every seat.
    I'm an ass that needs a seat.
    That has to be my seat.
    My name is not Pete.

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  38. Already had people in the shop talking about how good your seats are. It's good to see people making dreams real.

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  39. Today - by The Southern Death Cult

    The wind up on the plain
    Like the sound of falling rain
    It's always been this way
    Their taking it away today
    Today

    The concretes all around
    While the concretes thrown around
    They put it there today
    Their killing us today, today
    Today

    And now we altercate
    In the shithole that they made

    And now we altercate
    In the shithole that they made
    Shithole that they made
    Shithole that they made
    Shithole that they made

    They made
    They made

    Shithole that they made

    They made
    They made
    They made

    Words & music by Astbury, Burroghs, Jepson, & Quireshi

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  40. Keep your knees in the breeze.

    That seat would look great on my Shovel project.

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  41. How do you walk a cat? Don't take your dick out of it's ass when you leave the house of course!'

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  42. the riddle of steel. oh you know of it? steel is strong, but flesh is stronger. what is steel compared to the hand that wields it?

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  43. those are pretty stellar seats!

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  44. A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"


    get it?

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  45. That's one super sweet solo seat! (See, I made it rhyme)

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  46. when your in a situation where you have to bunk with another dude always remember the rule !! POLE TO POLE OR HOLE TO HOLE NEVER POLE TO HOLE !

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  47. The only thing i need is luck.....

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  48. How many Irish men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    F**k it.We'll drink in the dark.

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  49. What's the difference between Christopher Reeves and O. J. Simpson?

    Christopher Reeves got the electric chair ... and OJ walked!

    R.I.P. Superman

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  50. for your viewing pleasure:


    http://youtu.be/tUcltPSFXhM



    Bates me.

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  51. I don't have any jokes or anything. But, that is one hell of a nice seat. It'd look great on my CB project.

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  52. Two Irish guys walk out of a bar. It could happen.

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  53. Kelly,How many shots of Pelgroso Tequila does it take to make you superman on the ground?

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  54. That'll add some value to my Honda.

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  55. Thats pretty kool love the seat.
    Please draw my name that would be sweet.

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  56. I think this seat look´s perfect on my Shovel!!!!!!!!

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  57. Any man can piss on the floor but it takes a real man to piss on the dishes.

    joris jarsky

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  58. Unicorns and glitter!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  59. Order some golf shoes or we'll never get out of this place alive.
    Can't you see these lizards, they have claws on their feet

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  60. Summer calls to me
    Come ride your motorcycle
    Live without your cage

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  61. If I should win it will go on my wife's Sporster. she needs to lose the two seater.

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  62. ˙˙˙dn sı ǝpıs ɹǝqqnɹ ǝɥʇ sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı

    Greetings from the other side!

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  63. Ok you're on a motorcycle with a giraffe running next to you and you're being chased by a lion what do you do?...

    ... Get your drunk ass off the marry go round and go home..

    Could really use this for my poor boy chop this winter.

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  64. I need me a hairfly seat, man these beer are good.

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  65. Pic me or I will break your nose!

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  66. SO A BABY SEAL WALKS INTO A CLUB...

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  67. A Catholic priest, a Rabbi, and a biker walk into the bar. The bartender says "What the fuck is this, some kind of joke?"

    Ha.

    Count me in. Your seats rock.

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  68. Pocket nachos, whiskey, a new seat all things I want

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  69. This seat is mine, will put it on my Knuckle that I pick up at Born Free.

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  70. A shimmy is a dance move in which the body is held still, except for the shoulders

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  71. Activate, form of CHOPPER FAGGOT!!!

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  72. If I win this seat,
    It will go on my Chopper,
    My ass will be glad.

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  73. I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to.

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  74. In the world of the motorcycle seat
    The craft of Brothers Haifley Can't be beat
    And here I disseminate my writ
    to display my wit
    and obtain the fine labors of the House of Haifley
    Free....
    as to drink without cost from industrious tit.

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  75. Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.

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  76. What do you call a boob without a nipple?
    A Milkdud

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  77. There are two types of men who where ear rings. Faggets and pirates .... and i dont see any F***ing pirates around here!!

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  78. hash to hash dust to dust is the speed don't get ya the acid must, life's a bitch so fuck the world and let's go RIDE !!!

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  79. spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.

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  80. That seat will look great on my moped!!!

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  81. RSVP Yes! That seat will look great on my bike!

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  82. all I saw was "pocket Nachos" I hope that dude wins

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  83. surfing internet,
    so very bored, so painful.
    see seat. erection.

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  84. Your daddy must of been a pistol cos your a son of a gun.

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  85. There once was a man from Nantucket; took a look at that seat, exclaimed, "So pretty, I'd fuck it."

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  86. I never remember any jokes. Still need a good seat though!

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  87. There once was a guy named Mike
    Saw the seat and said "Me Like"
    So he took his chances
    And if his luck advances
    He'll get to bolt that thing on to his bike.
    And it'll be a good thing too since the one he has is Fucked!

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  88. If you use your imagination, and look at all the pics of the seats right side up, they sorta look like Polar Bear nose's... Just sayin, I want one, even if its off the face of a Artic Animal.

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  89. Why did Helen Keller crash her car?

    She's a woman.


    Throw my name in the hat please.
    Thanks, Roger

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  90. Who wants chrome... ? I do my best to remove as much as I can off my bike.

    Seat = a better ride on my 1960 Triumph chopper. Can't wait to mount it up :)

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  91. Would make an awesome addition to my wife new bike!

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  92. drop your cock and grab your socks it's nickel plated stock and ready to rock!

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  93. Confucius say, Man who drop watch in toilet have sh*tty time.

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  94. Roses are red
    Violets are Blue
    My bike would look sick
    with a seat made by you!

    thanks man
    ROB

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  95. This seat is for me
    Let me ride to feel
    I'm biker you can see
    Haifley Bros in Brazil!

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  96. A cop pulls a biker over:
    "Hello officer" said the biker.
    "Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop.
    Yup, but I didn't see you!

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  97. True Story:
    I get pulled over on the pacific coast highway one day in my 91 5.0 mustang.
    cop: you know why I pulled you over?
    me: I'm assuming speeding?
    cop: yeah, you know how fast you were going?
    me: not fast enough?
    cop: (laughs) compliments me on my car and writes the ticket.
    end story/ wish he would have let me off for making him laugh, didnt happen :/, i hope this cracked a grin and it gets me a seat i desperately need for my sporty. Thanks guys!

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  98. Scenes from my movie:

    "I'm as Amish as you are Caleb, but if we don;t sink that submarine, there won't be a Pennsylvania to go home to..."

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  99. a freebie hot damn i'm in.....

    my boy worked at a gas station late nites and we'd stop in to burn one down....one night a state troopers cop car was in for repairs.....me in the drivers seat my boy shotgun and a doucher in the back, smoked the best joint ever! the view was amazing!...ha!!

    Haifley Bros. RULE!

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  100. Be the first guys to ever make my ass happy

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  101. What kind of pants does Super Mario wear?

    DENIM DENIM DENIM...

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  102. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm building a shorty hardtail and need a new seat. Much obliged!

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  103. Hey, Nice products! Would not have known about them w/o Biltwell. Will consider for my next build!

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  104. ' to overcome adversity is to experience the full delight of existance '

    diggin' the zen thing here.

    59

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  105. ' to overcome adversity is to experience the full delight of existance '

    diggin' the zen thing here.

    59

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  106. A short story long:

    I went to MIchigan recently partly for a booty call, but mostly because I got an anonymous tip that a 90+ year old man had a collection of old school scoots in his warehouse somewhere near Hell. So I went to find him, which was harder than I thought it would be. I found a buddy of the ol' guy (also an ol' guy) who had a collection of Hudson's, Tucker's, and some other sexy old cages sitting around. He gave me the phone number I needed to complete my mission. On my way out of his shop, he took me aside, and very in a very serious tone, told me this seemingly true story:

    Two motorcyclists were headed out west on 96 towards Lake Michigan. Just outside of Grand Rapids, they came across this young gal just standing there on the median in the middle of the highway, looking nervous as hell. The boys stopped their bikes near the gal and one of them asked, "what are you doing standin' there girl, you losin' yer mind, or something? You're gonna get killed!"
    "I'm gonna kill myself," she cried.
    "Kill yourself? Well now, that does NOT seem like a good idea for such a sweet, young, beautiful thing as yourself. Now, why don't you come on down here, give me a kiss, and I'll take you for a nice motorcycle ride?"

    Instantly the girl perked up, she jumped down from the median and planted the biggest, juiciest kiss directly on the bikers mouth before she threw her leg over the back of his bike and took a seat.

    The man was taken aback, even though he asked for it, he hardly expected such a passionate response.
    "This one is in the bag," he thought to himself. She settled herself in, snugly pressing herself against him. They were ready to roll.

    "Why would you wanna kill your fine self anyway, love?"

    "Well," she explained, "I have nothing anymore: no food, no money, no home. Just the clothes on my back. My parents disowned me and kicked me out of the house, just because I like to dress like a girl."

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  107. It's when you can't hear the bats, that's when you know the bats are coming.

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  108. If I win the seat ...I'm buyin a p-pad...4 pleat to be exact

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  109. That thing would look sweet on on my rigid sporty.

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  110. Would look perfect on my 70's style Early Shovel build :)

    e-mail for contact: piritek AT gmail.com

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  111. If I was DR. Glory I'd rite something clever and win this seat hands down. But I'm not.

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  112. Need to change the look of the 48. i think the seat is the first to go. Gonzo1308

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  113. I want to reach out
    And touch the sky
    I want to touch the sun
    But I don't need to die

    I'm gonna climb up
    On the mountains of the moon
    And find a distant man
    A waving his spoon

    I've crossed the ocean, turned everything
    I found the crossing near a golden rainbow's end
    I've been through magic and defied reality
    I've lived a thousand years and it never bothered me

    Got no religion
    Don't need no friends
    Got all I want
    And I don't need to pretend

    Don't try to reach me
    'Cause I'd tear up your mind
    I've seen the future
    And I've left it behind

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  114. Damn its FREE! CAN'T AFFORD IT. Will have to wait on the next bunch. Good Luck to the rest of you!

    ReplyDelete
  115. Give me this seat and I'll ride it from Colorado to West By-Gawd Virginia and back. Range to Range, baybee.

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  116. It was the blackest night
    There was no moon in sight
    You know the stars ain't shinin'
    'Cause the sky's too tight
    I heard the scarey wind
    I seen some ugly trees
    There was a werewolf honkin'
    'Long the aide of me

    I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
    Got a big titty girly by the name of Chrissy
    Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me . . .
    'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery

    I noticed even the crickets
    Was actin' weird up here
    So I figured I might
    Just drink a little beer
    I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on . . "
    But there was no reply
    'Cause she was gone . . .

    "Where's those titties I like so well,
    'n' my godam beer!"
    Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
    Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devil, . .
    He's about this big, . .

    He had a red suit on
    An' a widow's peak
    An' then a pointed tail
    'N like a sulphur reek
    Yes, it was him awright,
    I swear I knowed it was
    He had some human flesh
    Stuck underneath his claws
    You know, it looked to me
    Like it was titty skin
    I said, "You sonofabifch!"
    'Cause I was mad at him.
    Well he just got out the floss
    'N started cleanin' his fang
    So I shot him with my shooter.
    Said: BANG BANG BANG

    The sucker just laughed 'n said, "Put it away . . .
    You know, I ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say?"
    YOU ATE MY CHRISSY? "Yeah! titties 'n all!"
    WHAT ABOUT THE BEER THEN? "Were the cans this tall?"
    EVEN HER BOOTS? "Would I lie to you?"
    SHIT, YOU MUSTA BEEN HUNGRY! "Yes, this is true'.
    'WELL DON'T THEY PAY Y'ALL GOOD FOR THE
    STUFF THAT YOU DO?
    "I can't complain when the checks come through . . ''
    WELL I WANT MY CHRISSY, 'N I WANT MY BEER
    SO YOU JUST BARF IT BACK UP NOW, DEVIL,
    DO YOU HEAR!
    "Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! I am fhe Devil,
    Do you understand?
    Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
    I suppose you noticed this little contract here, . ''
    YER GODDAM RIGHT, YOU SON-OF-A-WHORE,
    THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY REASON
    I LEARNED WRITIN' FOR . . .
    GIMME THAT PAPER ... BET YER ASS
    I'LL SIGN . . . 'CAUSE I NEED A BEER, 'N IT'S TITTY-
    SQUEEZIN' TIME!

    "You can't fool me, man . . . you ain't that bad . . .
    I mean you shoulda seen some of fhe souls I had . . .
    Why there was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew too . . .
    'n both of fhose suckers was worse 'n you . .
    "WELL, LET'S MAKE A DEAL IF YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE
    I MEAN, YOU'RE THE DEVIL SO ... WHATCHA GONNA DO?

    (improvised dialog)

    "No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think ...
    I mean ... hold on a minute, boy . . . that's
    Magic Ink!"

    And then the Devil puked
    'N out jumped m'girl
    They heard the titties PLOP-PLOPPIN'
    All around the world, she said:
    "I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FULLA DOWNS,
    AN' I'M GONNA GET WRECKED, SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!"

    And then she gave us the finger,
    It was rigid 'n stiff,
    That's when the Devil, he farted
    An' she went right over the cliff
    The Devil was mad took off to my pad
    I swear I do declare!
    How did she get back there?
    I swear I do declare!
    How did she get back there?
    etc. repeat

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  117. fingers #1 wierdo in a really wierd world

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  118. Everybody loves the free shit!

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  119. meat on my free seat, or feet on the street.

    -A.

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  120. Good girls bend at the knees, bad girls bend from the waist.

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  121. i deserve a free seat just for force feeding tequila to one of your guys in san felipe

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  122. "So U built it, huh ??
    Well... Why the hell don't ya ride it now ?!!!"


    DHC, France

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  123. Hänschen Klein
    ging allein
    in die weite welt hinein
    ...

    greets from germany
    ricky

    ReplyDelete
  124. A road-wary old biker walks into a saloon to have a cold beer after a long, dusty ride. At the end of the bar, he sees a rather good-looking "lady of the evening". She smiles at him and asks if he's looking for a good time. Well, having been some time since his last snarlin' he accepts. After agreeing on a price, she escorts him up to her room and they start humpin'. After about 10 minutes of furious banging the old biker asks:

    "So babe, how am I doin'?"

    She replies:

    "You're doin' 3 "knots".

    "3 knots?.... What's that mean?" replies the biker.

    She said:

    "You're NOT hard, you're NOT in and you're NOT getting your money back!"

    ReplyDelete
  125. party on wayne.

    ReplyDelete
  126. That's not a seat...that's a throne!

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  127. That's one fine seat. It will make an excellent addition to my balls.

    ReplyDelete
  128. I am from Russia, what more do you want ?

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  129. OOOOOOOOOO this would be SO sick...sick marked by sickness

    I'm gonna be sick....long night....please throw my name in the hat, hopefully I'll feel better by memorial day...the seat would def help that along I'm sure

    -Mike

    ReplyDelete
  130. I won't even try to better the people above me, but I'll would like a crack at a free seat for my first, and current, build; a 52 Pan.

    So for the love of all that is cushy; put my name in that bag...

    Regards,

    Jan vd Asdonk

    ReplyDelete
  131. bike rejects its seat
    vinyl thin looking like shit
    this all needs to change




    tj s

    ReplyDelete
  132. whatd the leper say to the prostitute?

    keep the tip!

    ReplyDelete
  133. You guys better have a damn big hat to draw out of...

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  134. I look forward to my next trip to AZ! I'll make sure to stop by your shop on my bike.
    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  135. I NEVER WIN NUTTIN' , THAT'S REALLY BEAT, COME ON MUTHA FUCKER, I NEED THAT SEAT!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  136. Whats the mating call of the Georgia peach?

    Sheiiit, Im drunk!

    How are woemen and dogshit similar?

    The older they get, the easier they are to pick up!

    Why did God Create yeaste infections?

    So women would know what its like to live with an irritating cunt!

    ReplyDelete
  137. George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

    "Harriet, she's a prostitute."

    "I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"

    "Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."

    In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services." Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

    "Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat
    dinner." At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

    ReplyDelete
  138. What's the difference between jam n jelly?

    You can't JELLY your dick down her throat!!!

    ReplyDelete
  139. Q-Big moron and a little moron sitting on a cliff, which one fell off first?

    A-The big moron because the little moron was a little more on.

    ReplyDelete
  140. I brought no funny jokes
    I brought no silly songs
    but my bike frame is looking bare
    and this seat is where my ass belongs!

    ReplyDelete
  141. How does your dykstra macuda nashigate on the pud tongue of your laladager.
    Thats gonna look sweet on my pre-unit!

    ReplyDelete
  142. not so much a joke, but an elementary school kid told one of my high school students that he looked goofy because he had a beard and mustache that don't meet. made me laugh

    ReplyDelete
  143. An angry man calls his Doctor:
    Doc, for all the good that enema did me I could have shoved it up my ass! Besides it tasted f*cking terrible!

    I need a seat...Hook me up:)

    ReplyDelete
  144. I know everyone has heard "2 in the pink and one in the stink",,,,here's a couple more gems in that vein.
    2 in the mitt, 1 in the shit
    2 in the cooter, 1 in the pooter
    2 in the mud, 1 in the blood
    2 in the humper, 1 in the dumper
    It's a pretty fun game when you're drunk around the campfire.

    ReplyDelete
  145. just finishing up my first build and F***ed up my seat trying to put the leather on. a sweet looking seat would make the bike soooo much nicer.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Vaginaless african girl rushed to emergency room and has baby. After some research its discovered the girl had been in the emergency room 9mon. earlier for a stabbing wound. X-boyfriend had supposedly stabbed girl while she was preforming oral sex on another male. semen was on the knife blade and impregnated the girl. true story

    ReplyDelete
  147. WTS!
    ( thats... Want The Seat )
    I'm shinin' up my nuts now!

    ReplyDelete
  148. mikevoch66204@aol.comMay 16, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    That seat is the bee's knees!

    ReplyDelete
  149. A baby seal walks into a club....


    apbt1977@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  150. "Whats the first thing you gotta do before eating a bald pussy?.....................................................................peel the diaper back........

    Doh!

    ReplyDelete
  151. A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

    ReplyDelete
  152. building a 78 that would love this on it!

    ReplyDelete
  153. Even If I don't win the seat
    I'll still think your work can't be beat

    ReplyDelete
  154. Even with all the riches, gold diggin bitches get stitches.

    ReplyDelete